Bryce

Bryce wrote:

I am a recently "singled" guy (after a 10 year relationship) who is having problems getting out into the dating world. I have no problem getting the date, but it's ON the date that I seem to screw everything up while making conversation. If I am super-attracted to her, I clam up. If I try to make jokes, I usually go too far and things get awkward. If I try to be serious, I've been told I am bragging about myself.

I really don't know what to do, but it seems that women today aren't like they were when I met my ex. What's the deal?
Bryce


Well Bryce,

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it seems the problem is you. I don't know if maybe you didn't spend enough time out with other people while dating your ex, but it seems that somewhere in the relationship (or maybe longer), you've not developed your social skills. There are certain things that people just shouldn't say, there are times that we should just shut up, and there are times when we should make an attempt to talk to people who intimidate us with their beauty. Trust me, it pays off.

I don't know what kind of jokes you're making, but if they're racial, religious, or too sexual, you should avoid telling them. Racial jokes are just tacky, and religious and sexual jokes CAN be told, after you've figured out her sense of humor. If you find yourself "bragging", think about what you're saying. Don't 1-up people and "beat their stories" with one of your own..and do NOT just go on and on about your material goods, sexual prowess, past conquests, or income. Not only is that bragging, it makes you look like a total douchebag. As far as the not talking because you're intimidated by someone, I feel for you. I've been there, and it's tough fumbling your way through a conversation, but make the effort and be honest and open with what you have to say. The tip here is to NOT spend the whole night staring at her or piling on compliments about her physical characteristics, because in the long run, you'll make her feel like a piece of meat instead of a person.

Dating success starts with conversation. Don't just talk to her. Talk WITH her and listen TO her. Genuinely get to know her, and everything else will come naturally.

Sean