Another great day.

Had another great day today. Spent the morning with Olivia and the afternoon working. Now it's time to put my feet up and answer a letter.

Stevie from New Mexico wrote:

I love your blog! I've been looking for blogs with relationship issues and have only found forums, which I find completely frustrating. I am writing today to ask a question. When should I finally give up? My ex and I broke things off about two months ago and I told him I'd wait for him to come around. He asked me not to, but I did. We started talking for a bit again, then we stopped. I still have hope...but it's beginning to fade. Is that wrong? Should I have given up awhile ago? He said he loved me, and that I was the one, but when we broke up, he said it "wasn't meant to be".

Help me!


I enlisted Theresa's help on this one.

Theresa: "Meant to be" a load of crap. If things were "meant to be", are people that get cancer "meant to get cancer?" Are mugging victims hurt because it was "meant to be"? Are people that are maimed or killed in car accidents facing that fate because it was "meant to be"? No. Either you want to work on a relationship or your don't. Fate does not interfere in our lives. If you believe in God, your religion will tell you that God had a plan..if you believe otherwise, you may believe that you control your destiny. Nowhere in there is "meant to be".
Give up. If he started talking to you and backed away, he does care, but something is preventing him from exploring that with you. Save yourself the troubles and back away.

Sean: I totally agree with the "meant to be" part. Some may argue that Carrie in Sex and the City was meant to be with Mr. Big, but if you look closely, it took LOTS of effort, as well as personal growth on both of their parts to make that relationship work. It wasn't "meant to be", it just took hard work. As far as giving up, I won't say back away now, I'll instead say back away when you feel you have nothing left to give. You may love someone forever, but holding out for them if they can't reciprocate isn't a good option. Sometimes you just have to let go and let them realize what they've lost. It could take years, and when the time comes, it may be worth it, but you'll never fall again if you don't first let go.

That's it everyone. Value the loves you have in your life.