A new question

It's been awhile since I had an advice email, so I was excited to finally see one in the inbox today.

Michelle from Missouri writes:

Hi

I like this site alot. You also have a great taste in music. I just wanted you to know that. Now, onto my issue:

I don't know how long it's been exactly, but I have been afraid of love as far back as I can remember. I am okay with sex and casual dating, but when it gets serious, I get scared and usually flee or do something to destroy the relationship.

I don't know that anything specific ever happened to make me fear love, but it's the weirdest feeling. I fall in love, then get so scared inside..like someone took the world out from under my feet. I panic and within a week or two, I've destroyed the relationship. I feel horrible when I do it, but I also feel relieved when it's done.

Help!

Michelle



Theresa-I think there is more to this story. Michelle, you need some help, plain and simple. Fear of a loving relationship is not something that is normal and you should definitely investigate when and how this began. I'm going to keep this one short and say look into therapy.

Sean-I think there is a definite issue here. If you don't remember what could have happened to spur this type of behavior, have you looked into finding out whether or not you may have mentally blocked this out? Maybe it was something traumatic. Are you able to have normal platonic loving relationships? In either case, I am recommending therapy for this as well. It's, as Theresa said, not normal to fear a loving relationship. The fact that you panic tells me it's linked to something your brain connected with the feeling of love. I hope you find the help you need.