Responses for Rae

Sean- Rae, I am sorry you had to go through such things and I commend you for being strong throughout the whole situation. As far as advice for your issue, I'd recommend talking with a doctor. I did some research on Herpes and found that many people lead completely normal dating lives and enjoy a healthy sex life by managing their outbreaks with medication or other methods. Look around on the internet or talk to your doctor, there is TONS of info out there. If a guy really likes you, he should be willing to understand your situation. Is there a chance you could be rushing the intimacy too soon, perhaps before an emotional bond is developed? Be up front about your issue and talk it over with the person you date. Explain everything you learn from your doctor and let them know how you feel about your relationship. You may lose a few, but if they're scared by that, what will happen when bigger things arise later in life? You don't need them. You'll find someone that truly loves you.

Heather- I don't really know much about this, but I'd say maybe you should be abstaining from sex until you are deep into a relationship. Explain what's going on upfront, but don't be intimate until later. It will give the person a chance to get to really care about you and know they are making the right decision. Good luck!

Lys (Lyssette)- I know how hard this can be firsthand. I got it from a cheating partner who swore up and down he didn't cheat, and now I've been living with it for years. I lead an absolutely normal life, with just a few minor modifications. I did exactly what Sean recommends above and it worked out. I found a great guy who understands that there may be times when we can't be intimate, but a relationship isn't just about intimacy anyway. I did have a few people get scared off, but they are typically the people that aren't looking for anything long term, so I moved on. Talk to your doctor and you'll get things back on track in no time at all. I'd be happy to talk to you more about this if you need also.

Brad- It is a tough spot to be in. I personally can't speak about what it feels like, but I have a friend who is married to a woman that has it. It seems like it can be an easily managed disease, so I agree that you should talk with your doctor. Maybe he can offer some medications that will decrease your chances of transmitting it. As far as the abusive boyfriend, I am glad you got out. Those situations never get better, they only get worse with time. The lack of trust, the arguing, the lack of respect, it all keeps declining until the violence rears it's ugly head. Good for you to get out. The task now is not going back.

Nat- Hey girl, perk up. Any guy that would be scared off by that is not worth spending time with anyway. I'd recommend looking online at a dating site for people with Herpes. I looked. It's out there. I would also agree that you should talk with your doctor and make deeper relationships. If you're looking for long term, make sure the guy is too. They can say anything sometimes to make you think they are looking for long term, so make sure you really listen to the words they use to determine if they are looking for long term, or just a long term night in bed.


There we go folks. The four finalists have given their advice. I'll be making my final decision tomorrow (Friday May 15) and will post the bio of our new co-contributor. In the meantime, take care of your self. Find the beauty in the small things.