Crappy measurements

When was the last time you used the term "crap load"? Maybe you said something like, "I had a crap load of beer last night."

I am going to do the world a favor and give exact measurement to these types of terms.

Sh*t-Load- The average human "movement" is about twelve ounces, and an average consumer trailer load is about 2000 lbs. Therefore a sh*t-load is about 166.6 sh*ts, if my math is correct. A commercial sh*t load would be considerably higher, since a commercial trailer is usually larger.

Sh*t-ton- Since a ton is 2000lbs, a sh*t ton would be just the sh*t and no trailer. Sucky for whoever has to move that.

Crap-load- Crap is a slang term for sh*t, but for this exercise we'll call it after the dice game. Yes Andy, I said dice game. Typical Vegas style dice weigh about 22 grams. Therefore a crap-load is a considerable amount of dice. 41,235 to be exact. Don't roll a deuce.

Ass-load- This is whatever's "in the chamber", usually about 12 ounces. Doesn't seem like much to be in an ass-load of trouble, now does it?

Okay, I've wasted (no pun intended) enough time on this. Thought I'd be a little weird on this post. It's a nice day and I am headed outside for a run!