Dating disaster one..

Alicia from Fargo wrote in:

I met this guy on e-Harmony who was totally psycho! Obviously, I didn't know it at the time, but wait until you hear this.

So I am on eHarmony after getting out of a bad breakup and I meet this guy who was handsome, has his sh*t together (which my ex didn't), seemed totally in control of his life, and really funny. He even looked familiar..I just couldn't place it.

Anyway, we went through the whole getting to know each other process (with eHarmony it's a LONG process) and even emailed quite a few times before I finally agreed to meet him. He asked me to meet him for a nice dinner the next day at 8. He also said he'd be wearing the blue shirt in case I didn't recognize him.

I put my best dress on, got all dolled up and headed down to the restaurant the next night. Once inside, I looked around and saw several people in blue shirts, but no one matching the pictures I'd seen. I called his cell phone (he'd given me the number) to see if he was still coming. Across the restaurant I saw a guy talking on his phone. He was talking to me..and looked nothing like his pictures.

I was pissed. I felt lied to, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and besides, what girl would turn down a free meal? I thought maybe he'd put on some weight and his hairline had receded since he took the pics.

I introduced myself politely and made some small talk before asking the big question. "Why don't you look like your pictures?" I asked.

"Those aren't really me," he calmly responded. "I photoshopped bits of my face onto Dane Cook's body."

I was mad, but remained calm. "Why would you deceive people like that?" I said.

He laughed a snorty laugh and responded, "I don't know. I think he seems to be a hit with the ladiezzz (I typed it like he said it), and so I thought I'd take his looks and my personality and combine the two into a great guy."

The waitress came and I told her I wasn't ready to order yet. My free meal seemed dirty at this point. "No offense," I said. "You aren't anything like your pictures and the fact that you pretty much set me up makes you kind of an ass in my book."

I stood up to leave and he said, "Come on, you know I make you wet."

I gasped and threw my water in his face. He was the wet one now. I stormed out and cancelled my eHarmony membership.

I have since met a nice guy and we've hit it off. It'll be interesting to meet his family this upcoming weekend, though with my luck, my dating disaster guy will end up being his brother..

Alicia

Thanks for writing Alicia! Good stuff!