When to let go..

I got a letter from Robin in Missouri today and thought I'd answer it on my way to work.

Hi!

I haven't been as caught up on your site as I'd like to (it's been nice here), but I just read up and I think this site gets better with every post! I have an issue and thought maybe you could shed some light on it.

I met this guy awhile back at a coffee shop (just like you!) and we hit it off. We really fell for each other, but about two months in, he sat me down to talk and said he wasn't ready for committment. I was devastated.

I waited awhile and stayed out of the dating scene, but have recently jumped back in with both feet. I have dated quite a few people because I have been wanting to find someone that I can trust and know feels the same way about me as I do them, but one guy has my walls crumbling and I don't know what to do. I like this guy and he knows I am actively dating (and not intimate with any of them if ya get my drift) but I feel like he'll eventually give up if I don't single him out. I really like this guy and don't want to lose him, but I don't know if I am ready to be vulnerable like that again.

Robin


Robin,
I wish I could explain why, but I know exactly how you feel. It can be tough to trust and to love again, but please realize that getting hurt is a part of the whole quest. Once you find what you are looking for, it'll make every heartache fade away. You should be learning from every experience and using that knowledge to guide you to exactly what you want.

If this guy is a good guy, talk to him and he'll understand. He will know that you are a woman worth waiting for, even if you end up not choosing him. And if the time does come that you do choose this person, it'll make the openness and communication that much easier, because you'll know you can talk about anything.