Parker's letter

Parker wrote:

I am writing for some advice. A friend recommended this site, so I hope you can give me guidance. I am a college graduate, I have a full time job, and I am outgoing, in shape, and I've been called handsome, yet I can't seem to find anyone willing to stick around long enough to date me. Why do you think this is? I go out with my guy friends, and we hit a few bars and I can find women there, but they all seem like the one night stand types. I am looking for something more..

Parker

Well Parker,

Good for you in realizing that "finding" women at a bar isn't the way to enter into a solid relationship. True, there are a select FEW that have managed to find a lasting relationship from hooking up with a bar "find", but it doesn't happen often. I emailed you twice looking for more clarification and didn't get a response, so I am going to assume you gave me all of the info you were willing to share.

Could it be you have a douchebag personality? If you're obsessed with material goods, money, yourself, or any combo of the three, it may be a HUGE turnoff for people when talking with you. No one wants to hear about your six-pack or how much money you make/spend on a daily basis.

Could it be that you have a hygiene problem? Not showering, not doing your laundry regularly, or wearing WAY too much cologne can have that "turn off" effect on women.

Could it be your friends? Are your friends the d-bag types running around the bar with "guido-hair" and gold chains while hitting on anything that moves? Are they the types that don't know when to shut up to avoid saying the wrong things?

Could it be that you're looking for the wrong type of women? If you are looking for a looks/money/status obsessed woman, you may be getting shut down because you don't meet her criteria. Trust me on this, the "model hotties" aren't all they're cracked up to be. Sorry ladies, if makeup is the first thing you think about in the morning, it can be a turn off to most guys.

Are you messy? If your place smells like a combo of old pizza, urine, and gym socks, you may be scaring women away the instant they see your living style. FYI, most guys miss the toilet once in awhile...but clean it up. Picking up your place, doing laundry, cleaning your bathroom, and doing your dishes are all part of being responsible. Learn it and love it.

If it's none of the above, you may just not be having luck with the places you're going (other than the bar). I'd try online dating or meeting people through friends.

Good luck.

Sean