A heartfelt post. (Another "Miss someone" response)

I usually don't like coming hom on lunch to do postings, but I got a letter today that his SO close to home that I had to put it up ASAP.

Theresa in Colorado wrote:

I had been in an on and off again relationship for almost a decade when, during one of our "off" periods, I met and fell in love with a man named Chris. We really hit it off and within 6 months, we were engaged to be married. That's when it all fell apart. My ex started trying to get me back and was really playing with my emotions. He was always good at the "I'll change" and the "don't think about the bad stuff", and the "we fought so hard for each other" crap. He had me believing that the love that he and I had (our relationship WASN'T perfect..it was bad) was stronger than the love I had for Chris. I started to believe that maybe I should give it a shot, so I let Chris go. He was heartbroken and told me that he'd wait for forever for me, but I told him to move on...I actually convinced myself that he wasn't the perfect man, and I convinced him that I wasn't what HE needed.

Two years later, my ex (now boyfriend) and I split up for the final time. I'd finally had enough of the drama, the lying and the deception. He was making me be someone that I didn't want to be. I realized at that moment that I'd loved Chris all of these years and that I should find him to apologize and ask him to take me back. I called his parents and got his number. I was so nervous to call, but I dialed anyway.

Chris answered. I burst into tears and told him everything. I said that I'd missed him all of these years, that I'd never really stopped thinking of him, that he was right all along and I just had to make my mistake, and I asked to be a part of his life again. He started crying and declined me. He said that I'd done such a good job of making him believe that I didn't love him, that I didn't miss him, and that he didn't need me, that he eventually made himself stop hurting and he found someone else. He said the hope of holding out for me was too much pain for him to bear. He was now engaged to a new woman and I was crushed. He is now married and living on the west coast.

I am writing this letter to tell you that it is not possible to miss someone and not want to be with them. I miss Chris every single day and I would like to be with him, but he's moved on. I made the worst mistake of my life out of pure confusion and now I am paying the price.

I am also writing this letter in the vain hope that someday, this will reach Chris, and if he is single, I hope he could find me. I love you Chris. I am sorry.

Theresa


This letter really hit home for me. It's tough to hear someone say they doubt their feelings for you. It's tougher to hear them say they feel you would be better off with someone else. Theresa, I hope Chris finds his way back to you. It sounds like he's always been in your heart. Thanks for writing.