Last post before I leave.

Good News! Theresa has decided to be a co-contributor. If I get an email looking for advice, we'll share our opinions with each other, then I'll post our responses. This is a cool new change and will add a "womens' perspective" to the advice given.
Speaking of which, here's the first co-contributed letter!

Charisse from Iowa writes:

I need some advice. I am a young mother and wife who is having marital problems. A year ago, my husband and I and daughter were doing well, but about 6 months ago, he lost his job. We have both been working two jobs to make up the difference in the paychecks, but my problem is that my husband seems so self-obsessed lately. He isn't romantic anymore, he doesn't compliment me like he used to, he gets mad so easily, and always wants to hang out with his guy friends without including me. He swears he isn't cheating, but I think all signs point the other way. Help!

Theresa said:

To me, financial burdens are HUGE downers in a relationship. Nothing tears down happiness and trust faster. I don't think he's cheating, I think he feels like he is letting you down. You said your life was great before he lost his job, but has gotten worse since you've both started working more, which makes me think that he is depressed because you're both having to work more. The loss of romance, the lack of compliments, and the anger could all be side effects of the depression. The not including you in things could be from constant arguements about money and the state of things, or it could just be because he feels like he hasn't let his friends down and that he can talk with them about how to fix things. My advice to you is to seek counseling. Couples counseling to be exact. This seems like something you can work through.

I said:

I agree with Theresa except on the not including you part. I can't agree with her view there because I think that, depending on his friends, they may be hearing only his side of the story, or they may be trying to pull him away from you. During any conflict, the friends only hear one side, which may lead them to make judgements they normally wouldn't, had they heard both sides. He may be depressed and frustrated, but if all he does is tell them how awful things are and how you two fight, his friends may be advising him to split up. I would advise to not only seek counseling, but also have a discussion about what he does when he goes out, what he talks about, and what you think he should also share with them. I don't think he's cheating. Guys are simple creatures and women sometimes forget that. If he's cheating, there should be SO many more signs (like late nights at the last minute, not answering phone calls, "forgetting" to call you when he says he will, calling from echoey places like bathrooms, being protective of his phone, or not wanting to go places he may have been with other people for fear of getting caught). I am assuming since none of these were mentioned, that he isn't doing them. If he is, then it's best you call him out on it.

In either case, we wish you luck with this. If you need any more advice, you know where to find us.