I understand why you have questions. I dont think i have a short answer for you.As for us I think I learned more about you after we broke up than when we were together.
Alot of things happened between us that damaged our relationship. I think the most important thing you could do for yourself is find your inner happiness. Find what makes you happy. You wanted honesty! If I can give you a piece of advice from a woman, just like you guys you like the chase, we like man that keeps us in our tiptoes.
Good to know.
(She and I dated for over a year and are still friends.)