Brand new love

Christina from Minnesota wrote:

Sean,

My friend told me about your blog and I absolutely love it. It's my new guilty pleasure. You really seem to have your stuff together as far as relationships go, so I want to ask your advice.

I am new to the whole dating thing. I've always been the good student and the good employee, and never really made time for dating. Now, I am 22 and am just setting foot into the dating world. It's a scary place. I don't really know how trusting to be of people. I have seen my friends and co-workers have some bad things happen and I know that I shouldn't be too trusting, but how do I not fear the unknown? I don't want to sabotage a good thing when I find one, but I don't want to get taken advantage of..

Christina

Good question Christina. I think it's all about asking the right questions. Qualify the person you are interested and what their goals and interests are before you commit to anything with them. Getting to know someone can literally take a lifetime, but the general points and personality traits all come out up front. It's just noticing what those traits are (and red flags) that can be tricky. If someone is okay with being generally dishonest, if someone is secretive, or if someone seems standoffish about their past, it may be a good idea not to involve yourself emotionally with that person until they are clear of those issues. If someone is not willing to spend time with you unless things are physical, avoid them altogether.

Just think safely. You're bound to hurt at some time, but if you think logically and put your safety first, you'll make good decisions when dating.

Sean