Trent in Nebraska wrote:
You're a dad, so I need some advice. My fiancee and I just had a child and are also splitting up. I am scared to death of being a single father, but I know it's for the best. I just worry that I'll screw up my son somehow. I've never done this on my own. How do you do it?
Trent
Trent,
I am assuming that you already know how to change a diaper and feed the baby? If not, read up on that. Those two are the basics. Clothing would be the third thing. Always have an extra pair of clothes, and a few diapers with you (TRUST ME ON THAT ONE).
As far as raising a child, I can't tell you exactly what to do because each child is different, but I can give you some advice from what I've learned.
Here are the top ten things you'll need to know:
1. Don't let the child throw tantrums. Teach them the discipline to express themselves by talking to you about things rather than screaming and fussing.
2. Time out should only be used as a learning tool.
3. Read to your child daily. Let them read to you after you teach them how to read.
4. Talk with your child daily. Even if they are too young to talk back, talk to them using adult words and not baby speak. It will greatly benefit you in the future.
5. Be there for your child. There is nothing greater than Saturday naptime with your child. You will miss this when they grow up.
6. Teach them that nutrition is easy and delicious. Picky eating is a learned behavior. There ARE foods other than hotdogs and mac n cheese.
7. Be active with them. Wrestling on the floor, park time, and playing are all fun ways to be involved. It is okay for dads to play dolls..
8. Show your child that while technology is increasing in our world, their imagination is still the most wonderful tool. (..and when building forts, don't put anything heavy on the roof, unless you want a cave-in..)
9. Make sure your life has structure and that theirs does too. Set bedtimes, dinner times, and cleaning days will greatly improve your quality of free time.
10. Love that child. Show them the value of love and making good relationships. Try to get your friends to realize that your child is the focus. It isn't always easy, but good friends will understand.
It's all pretty basic other than that. You'll have moments that you get angry, others that you're scared, and others that you're so proud, you can't help but tear up. It's a great thing to be a dad. Let me know if you need anything else.
Sean
