Dear radio

Dear Radio,

When are you going to finally learn that overplaying music is what is driving people away from you in droves? We don't really need to hear the same Jack Johnson/Taylor Swift/Slipknot song four times in an hour, and if your company owns more than one radio station, I definitely don't want it to play on the other stations after I turn the channel because I am sick of listening to your crappy DJ's try to be funny. I don't care about their wine and cheese favorites either.

Radio, what happened to the days when Dj's had personality and could just be there to make you listen to the music? Yeah, most of the DJ's of that time were stoned out of their gourd and taking bribes to play music, but YOU try sitting alone in a 9x9 room for five hours and see what happens.

Can you also explain what happened to live interviews? You have really taken "phoning it in" to a new level. Thanks to streaming, we can hear T-Pain give the exact same interview in several different cities to different Dj's..word for word. A scripted satellite recording or phone call isn't an interview. It's a commercial. We're smarter than that. Thanks to MTV, we know what commercials are.

We understand that you really like Fergie and Lady Gaga and that they probably had sex with some of you so people would make them famous. High five. We also understand that Nickelback had talent some time ago but it disappeared with Chad Kroger's hair. It's even okay that you think people still want to hear new music from Rob Thomas, even though Rob Thomas's music career is just a feminine version of his Matchbox 20 days. And to top it off, we even allowed you to force feed us Kenny Chesney. It's cool that the Keebler Elves want to do things other than make cookies, it really is. However, enough is enough.

Radio, what made you think it was okay for you decide what music is ours to like? Isn't that for us to decide? We'd even be okay with your DJ's picking music as long as it meant Top-40 stations didn't pump the new Britney Spears track every hour on the hour. When did "variety" come to mean "we play the same music every hour, just not in the same order"? We're taking your stations out of our cars Radio. In their place, we're programming our playlists for MP3 players and Ipods.

We're just looking for some answers here Radio..we're not pointing fingers at your nauseating morning shows or your idiotic program directors, we're just trying to make sense of what you've become so we can say goodbye and move on. We need closure here Radio.

Don't call us, don't write us, don't show up at our bar while we're out with a new friend. Maybe someday we'll run into you at the grocery store or the doctor's office Radio, and we'll see that you've changed, and we'll know that everything will be okay for you. Until then, we'll just say, "It was fun.."

"..until the 90's."

Sincerely,
Humans