Blaine's letter

Blaine from Green Bay wrote:

I like your site man. Good stuff here. Keep it up.

Here's my deal. I can't stop dating. I was in a marriage for three years and was cheated on by my wife at the time. I've been single for about a year now and I've been dating different people, but I don't want to take the step toward a relationship. I do, but I mean, I get scared, so I either end up ending that dating connection or just keep dating them, while I start dating more people.

It's getting to be too hectic for me. I rarely sleep during the week because I'm out with someone, or someone else, and there's this nagging feeling in me, telling me to slow down, but I am afraid. I also like the people I date, I just don't want to hurt anyone like I've been hurt. What do I do?

Blaine

It sounds like you already know this answer Blaine, but you're too afraid to take that step. You DO need to slow down. If this is affecting your sleep, affecting your happiness and your long term well-being, it's time to take a deeper look as to why you're doing this.

Being betrayed by someone you love can have devastating effects on your self-esteem and self-worth. Are you actually dating to feel like you can get any person you want, or are you dating to find happiness again? If you're out to prove something with your dating, I'd recommend seeing a therapist to work through those issues. The last thing you need is to have (and I am assuming these "people" are women, so correct me if I am wrong) 10 women pregnant and knocking at your door.

If you are indeed dating for happiness, then there's nothing wrong with being up front and honest and dating different people. I wouldn't recommend taking any of them to a sexual level, but dating and getting to know people is a safe idea. Don't keep up at the pace you're at, however..it's just not a good idea to stretch yourself so thin that you aren't being healthy. Slim down your dating and focus on getting yourself some "me time" during the week. A little more sleep couldn't hurt either.

Sean