Greg's letter..

Greg wrote:

Sorry to hear about the neck stuff. I was in a car accident awhile ago and had some neck issues. I can totally identify.

I was writing to you because I have a problem. I have mild schizophrenia. I take Haldol to manage it, but it's something that can easily take over my life if I don't take the meds. Anyway, here's the problem. I met someone. She lives about 11 hours away and I met her online. My town is small, everyone knows who I am and most people here have seen me have my issues before I got them under control, so needless to say, I haven't really dated anyone from my town.

I really like this girl though, and I am afraid if I tell her I am schizophrenic, she will run away. We've been talking online and by phone for months and she finally said she wanted to come see me.

I want to meet her face to face and see how things go, but I am so scared to show her a very big part of me that I've been hiding. What do I do?

Greg

Greg, you should have told her before things progressed, but now you NEED to tell her as soon as you can. I feel that connections people make are all about how deep the connection is, and how open we are about who we are. If we can't do these things, we're not really being honest with ourselves or the people we meet. Yes, you may have had some people leave your life because you told them about your schizophrenia (or they witnessed it), but if they are willing to walk away from you just because you have something you couldn't control getting, then these aren't people you want in your life. Small towns can be breeding grounds for closed-mindedness and fearing the unknown. I've been there and seen it happen to plenty of people. There are people out there that want to be in your life; that would be happy to be in your life, but you need to either open your eyes and realize this, or seek them out. Have you considered moving? In any event, let this woman know. Explain it to her with all honesty and tell her why you kept this from her. If she understands and can accept you for who you are, then you'll be fine. If she doesn't, then seek out those "quality people".

Good luck.