Floating in the friend zone..

Tanya wrote

Sean,

I liked your article in which you talked about the friend zone. I have a situation dealing with the friend zone that I hope you can help me with.

I had just gotten out of a relationship when I met Josh. He asked me out at a coffee shop (kind of like your thing!). He is a really cool guy, much more well adjusted than my ex, good at conversation, and all around, a cute guy. We hung out a few times and I felt I wasn't ready to start anything new, so I told him that all I could offer was friendship.

Unlike most guys, Josh was able to do that. He would text me or call me to see how my day was, but at the same time could go for days without calling or texting. He has given me good advice in time of need, and never asked for anything in return. He was a wonderful friend.

Here's the catch..I like him. I like him ALOT. I don't know how to tell him that, thanks to him, I am over my ex and ready to pursue something with him. It took some strength to put him into the "friend zone", and I am worried about what will happen if I tell him I want more.

Tanya

Tanya,

I think you SHOULD tell him how you feel. This guy does seem like a good friend, and good friends usually make wonderful partners. It can be a stressful decision to tell someone how you feel, and it can have mixed results, so don't be dismayed if he tells you that he is no longer looking for anything more. It sometimes takes some serious effort to stay in the friend zone if you like someone, and as a result, that person can sometimes put aside all feelings of anything more than friendship.

If Josh does like you though, he'll jump at the chance. If he was willing to stay friends with you for this long and have the discipline to remain just friends, he'll also be a very faithful partner.

Good luck.

Sean