Randy writes

Randy wrote:

Hi

I really love your blog. It's not only an informational read, but it's just SO engrossing. It's my guilty pleasure.

Anyway, I just broke up with this guy. We'll call him Dan. We dated for years and I really loved him. He turned out to be grossly unfaithful (I found that out while he and I were on a date and two other guys confronted us. Turns out Dan likes threesomes..) and we went through a messy breakup.

I thought I was over him, but I keep "seeing him" all over town. I don't REALLY see him, I just think I do. I could be driving by a gas station and I catch what I think is him out of the corner of my eye, or I think I see his face at the mall, etc. It's driving me crazy. I've talked to my friends and told them that I've been thinking of him and there are signs that are pointing out that I should take him back and they all think I am nuts for even considering it. What should I do?

Randy

Your friends are right Randy. You shouldn't even be considering taking him back. If he has been unfaithful and kept it from you with no qualms, then who knows what else he's kept from you. You may be seeing his face because you are going places that the two of you used to go, or doing some of the things you two used to do. If you live in a small town, it can be tougher, but try to avoid those places and activities for a bit if you can.

As far as "signs" pointing out that you should take him back, I feel "signs" are all a steaming pile of crap. Signs can go either way. What if every sign that reminds you of him is really a reminder that you should NOT be with him? Your heart and mind are disagreeing and it's causing you issues. Signs don't exist here in the real world. Save those for the next wacky Sandra Bullock romantic comedy (please God, no more..).

He was unfaithful. Live with it and move on. You'll have a better life without him.

Sean