I'm taking them back. I'm taking them all back.

Rei wrote:

Sean

I have a dilemma. I think I believe too much in fate. My friends have been saying this for years and I've ignored them, but after losing the love of my life, I am beginning to think they were right.

He and I had an on and off again relationship in which neither one of us was faithful or willing to work on our issues. We'd get in awful and petty fights, we'd spy on each other, and we were just not good people when we were in relationships with each other.

When we were apart, I missed him and he said he missed me, but each time we got back with each other, it wasn't the same. I always said it was fate drawing us back together, but now I realize that it was insecurity, self-doubt, and fear.

I read your post about being adopted and it struck a nerve. It was right on. I am adopted too and after reading it, I began to think about what I wanted in my life and the bad decisions I'd made up to that point and I took steps to change my future. I realize now that there is no such thing as fate. Happiness takes more than that. I just wanted you to know that you are amazing. If you never get a thank you from one of these people you've helped, I wanted to thank you myself.

Rei

Rei,
Thank you for writing. I've been stressed about life in general lately and have been doing my best to keep up with the changes. It's nice to know that I can make a difference. As far as the "there's no such thing as fate" line, I totally agree. If fate existed, would it be people's fate to get sick or pass away before growing old? Would good people leave this world and bad ones stay? I think not. I agree that happiness in life takes love, patience, communication, and value of the "little things". If we leave life to fate, we'll spend our lives waiting on trains that never arrive rather than enjoying the world around us.

I am glad you liked the piece on adoption. I've gotten some good feedback on that piece, and I am glad I wrote it. I am even more glad it could help you realize that you weren't heading down a good path. By exiting a relationship based on self-doubt and insecurity, you've already made some major changes in your life and I wish you luck in seeing the changes through.

Sean