Single for too long..

Josef wrote:

Hi Sean.

I really like your site and thought maybe you could shed some light on what I am going through. You seem to be good at it.

I broke up with my fiancee almost a year ago. Why we broke up isn't the important part, but I've spent the better part of a year alone and think I am ready to go back out into the dating world. The issue is that I feel I may be unprepared for what lies ahead and was wondering what you feel the best way to "get back onto the field" is.

Josef

Well Josef, the world hasn't even made one trip around the sun, so it's not like much has changed. True, the season is again growing colder, the weather is lending itself nicely to the ability to hold close the ones we care about, the smiles seem warmer in cold air, and there's something about the ending of the summer season that makes people take stock of what they want in a relationship. I say if you're ready to dip your feet in the dating pool, go for it.

Now, that doesn't mean hit on every person with breasts that you see. THAT approach will either leave you ultimately alone or eventually hitting on a guy with man boobs after having too many shots at your local bar. Nothing against man boobs guys, but I'm guessing the last thing you'd like is Josef's hot breath on your ear. Back to the subject at hand.. Women can sense desperation like Spiderman senses danger.

It doesn't matter HOW you do it. Just be yourself and be genuine when getting to know someone. If you're sick of the bar scene or friends' blind dates (I've had a few bad ones), try the online dating world, or a dating company that does lunch dates. There are plenty of options. Try a few and stick with the one you're comfortable with.

The fact that you said you spent some time to yourself and that you feel you're ready speaks volumes-if you truly feel you're ready to take the first step, then by all means, take it.