Jenny writes:

Jenny writes:

I love your blog Sean. It's refreshing to see so many people feeling a connection to you.

I was writing to ask your opinion on something as well. I am facing some issues in my life because I can't seem to say no. If someone wants to spend time with me, I can't decline, if they need my help I can't decline, if they want me to come to an event of some sort I can't decline. It's causing me to doublebook things then have to make excuses as to why I am either extremely late or not able to attend. I don't like the frustration it's causing, but can't change..what do I do?

Jenny

Jenny, I know many people that have the same issues as yours, so just know you're not alone. It's not bad to be such a giving person, but it IS bad to give others complete control over yourself and your time. You need to learn to say no. Understand that people aren't going to be upset if you can't do something because you've made other arrangements or if you just need some "me time", and trust me, you DO need some "me time" in life. Stand up for yourself and be more assertive. Start by making one day out of the week your own day. That is the day that is off limits for planning. YOU will decide what you do on that day. From there, expand outward and add one or two more days that you will control, but factor in "me time" each day.
Explain to your friends what happened if you double book an event. Don't make excuses, because that's basically lying. Just tell them what happened or explain that you have other plans. They will understand. After all, it's better to get the truth in advance than it is to find out later you were lied to. Learn to eventually plan ahead, but plan for yourself.

Sean