How do you sleep?

Larisa wrote:

Hi Sean

I haven't slept well in about two months, due to a recent breakup. I know it's bad for my health to not sleep well, and I am scared to MAKE myself sleep by using medication, so I am wondering what I can do. I get so tired during the day and at night, but when I lay down to sleep at night my mind wanders into thoughts about my ex and I find myself unable to sleep. If I do fall asleep, I wake up multiple times throughout the night and toss and turn while trying to get thoughts of my ex from my mind.

Help!

Larisa

Larisa,
You're right in saying a lack of sleep is bad for your health. Sleep not only helps your memory and productivity throughout the day, it also has an effect on metabolism, immunity, and even your ability to speak. Lack of sleep can have both long term and short term health issues that can become serious as time progresses.
I commend you for recognizing the problem relatively early on.

Your thoughts are wandering because during the day you have work, school, or social deadlines and goals which, in turn, keep your mind from focusing solely on your ex. When you are in bed at night, you have no other activity to distract your mind fron your ex, so your mind begins to "center in" on those thoughts. It seems like there is still an emotional connection there and the thoughts are triggering the emotional connection and limiting your ability to relax and clear your mind.

If you see a therapist, he/she may be able to help and may be able to prescribe a short term medications that will help you sleep, or help you relieve some of the mental pressure that you may feel exists with your ex. If therapy isn't an option for you (I think it SHOULD be for everyone), you may want to try melatonin. It's a naturally occurring hormone and can do a variety of things. It can help regulate metabolism, is a powerful antioxidant, and is used primarily to regulate sleep cycles. It is known to cause vivid dreams however, and should not be overused. You can find it on the shelves of your local Target or pharmacy. I've used it myself and think it is fantastic on those nights that I can't get to sleep.

There are options out there, but the first step should be clearing your thoughts of your ex. If you have time, email me back more on that and we can see if there is a way to provide some head clearing advice for that.

Sean